The MS Diaries

Idiots

2010-08-11T16:16:00.001+01:00

So its the summer holidays and daytime marketing calls are flooding in... Just had a call from a local gym offering cheap membership. Guy on the phone completely rubs me up the wrong way by calling me 'darling' with no idea who I am etc. I get fed up so to get him off the phone tell him I have MS and can't do gym work. His response:

"Alright love get well with that."

Idiot.

Relapse

2010-07-19T16:54:00.002+01:00

Okay so I know I haven't posted in over six months, guess I thought I was silly for starting this etc etc but am at a loose end so...

I'm currently undergoing a relapse, started with loss of sensation that became sustained so this was how my neuro diagnosed it. Have taken a 5 day course of 500mg steroids to ensure it doesn't get any worse and have an mri booked in for next month. A bit worrying, as always am approaching it by a not really thinking about it approach but have let people know its going on etc. Problem is I feel like a fraud. Its only 'feeling' that is affected so it seems silly and I wonder why I even mentioned it in the first place. Before the big episode I had last year 'feeling' was all I had so I ignored that but its so frustrating!

I get shaky hands from time to time (my OH notices it more than I do) and will often stand up and feel dizzy/unbalanced but this is really it. Its almost frustrating being diagnosed as I feel I don't deserve the support I'm getting from my friends and family for this condition when there are people so worse off. I genuinely don't believe the course will get any worse than this for me as I've had these symptoms on and off before diagnosis for quite some time so I feel bad when I think about it and worry. I feel I don't have a right to.

The whole thing is really very frustrating.

Bureaucratic nightmare

2009-12-22T14:22:00.003Z

The driving licence debacle continues... My new doctors have just been on the phone to say they need to see me to complete a DVLA health assessment so naturally I queried what was happening regarding confirming my diagnosis with my consultant - the note to do so had not been actioned. Yet another example of bureaucratic misfiling resulting in more delays and still no driving licence. My renewal date is in February so it really is important to get this sorted imminently so it doesn't further affect my insurance. Fingers crossed!

Additionally I have a stinking cold/flu which is leaving me more drained than I remember colds doing. Whether this is psychosomatic or my body has changed I don't know, either way its bad times.

Fed up of getting upset

2009-12-16T12:11:00.002Z

Its amazing how the littlest thing can have the biggest effect on your day. A 'thank you' from a student after a good lesson, a text message with a smiley face that brings one to your own or a marketing phone call that leaves you feeling like crap.

Okay so I'm not the strictest person with my finances and I do occasionally drift into the dreaded overdraft limit so am fairly used to my bank giving me a bell to let me know this has happened. Today I was called by the usual 0800 number and greeted by 'Stuart' who was polite enough that I stayed on the line for a chat. The conversation started with the usual obligatories, followed by the 'and what can we do to help' s before descending to the standard 'did you know we all offer' range of patter. The current product - banking plus accounts.

Banking plus accounts are those ones that charge you a bit each month for a range of privileges or freebies. I let him reel through them listening and he starts going on about travel insurance, I mention that mine has gone up following diagnosis and he changes tact to life insurance.... Apparently MS is a biggie and is one of the 'BIG FIVE' along with cancer and other killers - nice!
Whoop dee do! Naturally my optimism vanished and its left me wanting to cry which I know is really silly but it was the label that did it.

I feel sorry for 'Stuart', think he realised he upset me and was quick to end the call so at least that's a bonus. Of sorts.

I hate occupational health!!

2009-11-23T10:48:00.000Z

Okay so I know the plan is to blog the past six months to bring you up to speed but I am so seriously fuming that I felt I had to share this one. ..

I'm a school teacher and am currently trying to move counties for a new post starting just after Christmas but a new county council means a new 'Human Resources Division' who have kindly informed me I need to see occupational health before they can issue a contract. Additionally they told me over the phone I "technically" have a disability so should have ticked that box too... I mean really??! I'm symptomless at the moment and it doesn't restrict me in any way, not really, so a disability? I beg to differ.

Now going to have to go through the rigmarole of sending some forms back and forth, consent given to approach doctor etc etc and they will hopefully be able to issue me with a contract before Christmas! Get the impression this is going to be as annoying as the whole driving licence debacle which I promise to update on later.

I hate tick boxes :(

I'm glad I went to Specsavers!

2009-11-21T22:25:00.000Z

Eurovision 2009, not a particularly fantastic night for music but a good night for drinking games. I'm not advocating alcohol but there's only so much cheesy pop a grown adult can stand before they turn to the bottle and that limit is even lower when you have friends round who have equally short attention spans. It was the morning after the night before that I woke up and realised my left leg was strangely numb... Oh dear Debs, you must've had one too many last night!

A week down the line it was Sunday lunch at the parent's house. Lunch went well but sitting down to digest afterwards didn't run quite so smoothly. As I sat on the sofa watching TV I realised the numbness had reached my face, I remember bursting into tears and couldn't stop thinking about the government 'FAST' stroke campaign adverts that had been recently televised. I went straight to the NHS walk in centre during Sunday lunch, certain I was having a stroke, and what was the diagnosis? Diet apparently. Now at the time I was aware I was a little overweight but diet for numbness down your left side??? I went with the diagnosis, stocked the cupboards with healthy stuff and mixed the fruit salad.

Another week further down the line, and one unproductive doctor's visit later, the addition of blurred vision prompted me to see my optician. He examined my eyes and diagnosed 'sixth nerve palsy' as my right eye was incapable of swivelling right beyond the centre line - this felt very freaky. He showed me in a journal the condition and made me wait while he referred me straight up to A&E. I was admitted to Rotherham General Hospital that evening, Friday 29th May 2009, with no overnight gear and no real idea what was wrong with me...

And that was the start.